


Desperate measures

by Shibakamiko



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Fluff, Ignis is a sadist deep down, Multi, Noctis and vegetables, Non-Consensual Tickling, OT4, Tickling, you know what that means
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 22:27:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17610200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shibakamiko/pseuds/Shibakamiko
Summary: ‘At desperate times, desperate measures’. This had always been one of Ignis’ main and favorite mottos. And when it comes to correcting a certain prince's awful eating habits, he doesn't hesitate much before putting it into practice.





	Desperate measures

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this fic on-going for MONTHS, like, since something around september. No kidding. Inspiration kept being a little bitch and running away from me, plus work piled up, and life decided to just make everything worse in general, so time passed and passed... and in the end, I had to give myself a deadline. "You will finish that fic before february you good-for-nothing shibe!!" Aaaand looks like that inner voice kicked my butt hard enough, because just in time, here it is, finally done!! One day before february XD That was a close call, guys.  
> Anyhow, this is once again fluff and crack and basically I just wanted something cute between the four Chocoboyfriends~ Hope you guys will enjoy it at least a little!  
> Also, everyone loves Noctis in there. Because he precious. Because he deserves it. I will fight for that lol

            ‘At desperate times, desperate measures’. This had always been one of Ignis’ main and favorite mottos, alongside ‘hard work pays off’ and ‘why sleep when you can be productive’ – the latter leading to his addiction to Ebony… but that was another story. With the help of these guidelines, he went far, far ahead of everybody in a matter of years, and could almost achieve any goal he set.  
Anything… except getting a certain prince to _eat his godsdamn vegetables_.  
By far, Noctis had always set the biggest challenges for his adviser. During the younger years already, he had been a real pain to teach and groom into someone else than a rebel teenager sneaking out of the Citadel all the time to escape his duties. After that had come the time of high school, and the disappointing discovery that no, even with an apartment of his own, Noctis wouldn’t get more organized. No house chore done, ever. The damn boy wasn’t even able to eat properly…  
Maybe these years, when Ignis hadn’t been able to watch his every move as closely as he would have wished, were to blame for the Lucian heir’s awful eating habits… no one would probably ever know. But the fact remained: traveling with him now and seeing how he acted toward food – hard-gained, rare food, on which Ignis invested his creativity and energy _every. freaking. day_ – was making the generally gentle cook both annoyed… and terribly concerned.

Noctis was his charge, after all – or rather _their_ charge. Of all three of them. And the fact that they all shared such a close bond now, a bond that would surely be considered way beyond the friendship line, didn’t help either.  
You worried even more, when the problem involved someone you loved.

            “… this will end up in scurvy one day.”

The current conversation – that had no connection to food or Noctis in any way – brutally stopped around the campfire. Both Gladio and Prompto turning their attention to the third party, with a clear look of confusion. “Scurvy? Uh? My chocobo’s gonna catch scurvy, s’that what you’re saying???”

That, for once, made Ignis snap out of his gloomy thoughts. He blinked and looked back at Prompto, equally confused. “What… no? Did I ever mention a chocobo?” With a quiet sigh, he made a vague gesture to the tent behind them, and the peacefully sleeping mass of blankets and spiky black hair that laid in there. “I was merely worrying about our snoring prince… again.”

Gladio gave an amused huff. “You really weren’t listening huh? I knew it. Something ‘bout your face… you seemed anywhere _but_ here with us.” Leaning forward on his chair, he nodded. “Alright, go on. What’s on your mind, about the princess?”

            “Well…” There was a brief moment of hesitation on Ignis’ part. He removed his glasses, rubbed them clean with the small handkerchief he always carried around, then put them back in place. “You two must have noticed too. His vegetables. Somehow, he always finds a way to sneak them into either of our respective plates.”

There was a moment of silent agreement. They all noticed indeed. Prompto shrugged. “So what? As far as I remember, he always acted more or less like this, right? And we can’t exactly, y’know… force-feed him.” An anxious pause. “… please tell me you’re not thinking about doing just that.”

            “I am not.” He did. Briefly. Before pushing the thought away. Noctis might be a brat but he was _their_ brat, and none of them would ever hurt him. “But something has to be done, Prompto. He’s even putting some in the _chocobos’_ meal.”

            “He did _WHAT?!_ ”

Oh, now _that_ caught his attention. Nothing managed to anger Prompto more than anything related to his precious birds – why, Ignis never fully understood, but he wasn’t above using that knowledge in times of need. And this was, undoubtedly, a time of need.

            “What kind of vegetables?? That little…. _ugh!_ I told him _a hundred times_ that chocobos can’t eat everything! He’s gonna get them sick! My poor babies…”

            “Calm down…” Ok, maybe this was getting a bit too much; he didn’t want Prompto to _murder_ Noctis in his sleep, either, that’d be way too radical. “He fed them nothing dangerous, as far as I saw. However, for his own sake first and foremost, this attitude needs to stop. We can’t let him reach the point of malnutrition. I am absolutely sure his lack of a proper diet is the main reason he feels so tired at random. One day, he could even collapse in the middle of a fight, and what would we do then?”

That second argument got Gladio’s attention this time. From the corner of his eye, Ignis could see the Shield furrow his eyebrows in worry. “You think it can get to that…? Damn… ‘kay. Agreed. Our brat needs to get some serious good sense punched into that thick skull of his.”

            “Not _‘punched’_.” The adviser sighed again. Gracious Shiva, these two were way too easy to get going… Of course he knew Gladio didn’t mean it in a literal way, but well, this was Gladio they were talking about here. Caution in order. “I was thinking of adopting a more… subtle method.”

Yes… he had thought about it a lot, maybe too much to some standards. Back to the young years he spent with a then shy and more agreeable prince… At this time, there was one method he could use to persuade Noctis, whenever the little boy refused to, say, go to sleep or do his homeworks. One simple, almost ridiculously silly method, that he didn’t dare rely on passed a certain age for… adult reasons. But that method could also be the quickest solution to the annoying eating matter they were facing right now. So…

_At desperate times, desperate measures._

            “Alright, gentlemen. This is how I suggest we proceed…”

The three guys scooted closer to one another, listening intently. Discreet whispers got exchanged, nods, grins… that would probably have made Noctis cringe and run away as fast as he could. But from the depths of dreamland, he had no idea what was going on.

And so, behind his back, a plan was carefully devised that night…

 

*  *  *

 

            When Noctis got up in the morning, the sun was already high, very high in the sky. Which wasn’t an usual occurrence. Oh, he often _wished_ he could sleep in that late, but the guys never allowed him to; usually they would end up shaking him awake, or dragging him out of the tent by his legs, at 8 every day. Surprisingly, none of that happened today? Bah. He didn’t want to question it too much. No; he figured it presaged of a good day, a day of peace, and so with that refreshing thought in mind he squirmed out of his blanket burrito and made his way to the circle of chairs outside, where his friends had already all taken place.

            “Morning.”

Ignis was reading the newspaper he bought on their last stop at a Coernix station, with in hand his probably third can of Ebony of the day. He acknowledged Noctis’ arrival with a little bow of his head and a warm smile. Gladio was busy polishing his sword, and like always, too focused on it to reply with more than a grunt. Prompto however, who had been cleaning his camera lens, all but left his seat in an excited jump to throw himself at the prince.

            “Noooct, good morning! If we can still call that ‘morning’…” he snickered. “How’s my _Sleeping Beauty_?”

Noctis groaned. “Shut it, _Goldilocks_.” But really, he could never stay mad at him. Even less with Prompto smashing their lips together in a messy kiss. His kisses were like him, spontaneous and cheerful, and as much as the prince found Prompto’s energy a bit tiring from time to time… he loved it way too much to ever complain.  
His attention left his younger boyfriend, however, when he noticed the absence of a plate on the camping table. Now that was odd… Ignis usually always left one out for him…

            “Iggy? Where’s food?”

This question made the adviser react, with a roll of his eyes. “Always so impatient…” Folding his newspaper neatly, then setting it down with his can to stand up, he made his way to the other two. And offered his own good morning kiss on his prince’s lips. A soft, tender, almost reverential kiss. A complete opposite to Prompto. “There is, in fact, food waiting for you. I prepared something… special. I hope it will be to your liking.”

            “Really?” Noctis’ face lit up in innocent curiosity. Ignis was a great cook, whatever he had prepared could only be delicious! So long as there was no vegetable in there of course. Bah, he would find a way to get rid of these discreetly, as always. “You’re spoiling me, Specs.”

Ignis’ reply was a cryptic smile. “You have absolutely no idea.” A vague gesture directed Noctis toward his appointed seat, around the now cold campfire. “Please sit down and get comfortable. I’ll bring the plate to you.”

Nothing made the prince happier than getting pampered by his three boyfriends. As he followed the suggestion, he almost had a spring in his step, and the cutest little smile hung at the corner of his lips. See? _That_ was a good day. A perfect day, even. His hunches didn’t disappoint.  
Prompto accompanied him, dragging his own seat closer to Noctis’ and sitting down with him. Said movement was enough to catch Gladio’s attention, at last. Storing his sword away in the armiger, the taller male came to stand behind his liege’s seat. “ _Finally_ you deign to grace us with your presence, huh princess?” Teasing words, but a fond smile to go with them. He leaned over, kissing Noctis’ forehead. And when the prince let his head roll back with a demanding pout, he snorted and complied to the silent request. An upside-down kiss, square on the lips. It held no hesitation, no flourish; it was a direct contact of mouth to mouth, a bit forceful, a bit possessive… different from the other two’s, but just like them, Noctis absolutely _adored_ it.

            “Good _morning_.” he shot back. “And I thought I told you to stop calling me that.”

            “Not gonna happen, so you better get used to it…” a grin, “ _princess~_ ”

Noctis’ eyes narrowed in annoyance. His arms reached back to playfully punch at Gladio’s belly – and missed. The Shield was just too quick to grab the prince’s wrists and hold them, pulled up and slightly backward. And the worst was, he didn’t even seem to struggle at all to keep him there. Freaking bastard with the strength of a Behemoth…  
An insult right on the tip of his tongue, he prepared to retort, when Ignis chose that moment to come back. With the aforementioned plate… currently hidden under a silver lid? That was new, too. The prince arched an eyebrow in surprise.

            “Okay…? You’re maintaining the suspense? C’moooon, I’m hungry!” A tug at his arms. But no, apparently, Gladio didn’t want to let go. “Erm, how am I supposed to eat without my hands? You guys are gonna feed me or what?” Not that he would hate the idea.

            “In a way… we are.” The way Ignis confirmed, and the smile – no, let him rephrase that – the _smirk_ on his lips… now these managed to unsettle the prince. A disturbing feeling that only got confirmed when the adviser lifted the lid.

Noctis’ eyes grew wide in horror.

Vegetables.

Vegetables in the top part of it. Vegetables on the left. Vegetables on the right. Vegetables all over.

Just. Gods. Damn. _Vegetables._

            “Now…” The three guys leaned even closer, surrounding the prince. Their smiles – half innocent, half _creepy as fuck_ – invading Noctis’ vision completely, as they brought that accursed plate closer, and closer, and closer… and canted, all together…

            “Enjoy the meal, Noct~”

 

            “ ** _NOOOOO…!_** ”

Noctis’ scream of terror echoed in the plain, almost scaring away the nearest pack of Anaks.   
These little bastards…! How dare they do this to him?! It was a nightmare! It couldn’t be real! Someone please pinch him awake!!

The other three winced at their royal boyfriend’s reaction. Ignis, more specifically, seemed more annoyed than Noctis had ever seen him. Lips pressed in a line of barely repressed anger, he placed the lid onto the nearby table, and sighed. “You can yell as much as you want, you’re not getting away this time. Your diet needs some drastic adjustments, and you know it just as much as we do.”

If there was one person Noctis never wished to anger, it was definitely this guy. Prompto never stayed angry for long. Gladio blew up quick and you were done with it. But Ignis? Ignis was a mystery. No one had ever seen him angry for good – or, much more terrifying possibility, no one had _survived_ to tell the story. But the prince sure didn’t want to explore that unknown territory, and certainly not while restrained like he was now…

But. On the other hand… _veggies._

            “No!!” His mouth reacted before his brain could, and the raven-haired male glared at the plate, as if hoping that'd send it to the deepest pits of hell. “My diet is perfectly fine and I don’t need these… these green _atrocities_ in it!” He yanked at his captive arms, even harder this time, and growled. “Let _go_ of me, Gladio!!”

            “Nu-uh, _don’t_ let go of him!” Noctis shot a puppy look at the one responsible for that betrayal. Promptooooo! You were supposed to help him, not join in on the opposite side! But alas, that only made the gunslinger smile wider, and put a hand on Noctis’ thigh, pressing him down. “Aww, don’t look at me like this buddy, it’s for your own good~”

Well Noctis would have a lot of things to say about that – because obviously his ‘own good’ wouldn’t imply trying to _poison_ him with these things! But before he could, Ignis was taking a seat at his other side. Picked one of the vegetables with a fork. And presented it to the prince.

            “Here. You know what this is, I assume?”

            “Duh…” Their liege rolled his eyes, petulantly. “I know how to recognize broccoli, _thank you_.”

            “Don’t be like that. You don’t even know the taste.” Prompto’s hand _squeezed_ then, right there on the thigh, and Noctis yelped in reaction. Completely missing, though, the conniving glances the others exchanged at that…

            “Noct.” Ignis’ tone was stern. He wouldn’t listen to the younger boy’s complains, not today. “This one here I cooked specially; a broccoli gratin with bechamel sauce. I went through dozens of cooking books to find that recipe, so _please_ , at least do me a favor and take a bite.”

But Noctis only backed away from the offered food. Huffing like the bratty kid he could be.

            “Very well then…” The adviser gave a long, disheartened groan, his head dropping low. “Just know you brought this upon yourself.” And looking up, he nodded at the other two. “You know what to do then, gentlemen.”

Oh, they did. And were they happy to deliver, too. Gladio winked. Pulled Noctis’ arms back even more. Prompto, who had awaited this moment with obvious impatience, pounced on the poor prince, hands shooting straight for the fully exposed sides, and…

 

            There came another scream. Less on the horror side, but definitely more on the ticklish side. And Noctis really, really _didn’t_ prefer that version. His body arched up against the touch, against Gladio’s hold, his face scrunching up in a grimace as he valiantly fought off the giggles as best he could.

            “ _No…!_ Y-you ca… can’t… _graaah_ guuuuysss!!”

Who came up with that shitty idea?! Torturing him into eating these accursed vegetables?? That was Nif’-level sadism! Now he knew why they surrounded him like this; he had nowhere to go, no way to escape, he could only stay there, trapped between the three persons he loved most on Eos. Three persons hell-bent on making him lose his damn mind today…

            “Oh, we tooootally can, sorry!” Prompto wasn’t just a sharpshooter; all these years of manipulating guns, cameras, and arcade controllers alike had given him quick, nimble, and extremely strong fingers. Fingers perfectly suited to knead the prince’s hips, or dig between the ribs and vibrate against the awfully sensitive skin there. Noctis never made it a secret, how much he loved the blond’s fingers… but this here was the biggest, most definitive ‘NOPE’ use of them ever, and for a moment he hated every single god in the pantheon for gifting Prompto with these.

Raging protests between clenched teeth were, however, quickly muffled. By no other than that despicable broccoli, pressed against his lips.

            “Just one bite, Noctis. Say you’re accepting one single bite, and you’re getting off the hook.”

If looks could kill, the crowned heir would have _murdered_ his adviser right there and then with how hard he glared. Not that he looked threatening enough to his liking, but it was pretty hard to seem serious when your lips quivered with the need to laugh, when the most ridiculous snorts slipped through your nose, when you were turning a light shade of blue from trying desperately not to make any undignified sound…

            “You k-know where you cahan stick that!!” That... sorta slipped out on its own. Not the wisest thing to say in his situation; even himself had to admit.

            “Woah, bad move there. Very bad move.”

Gladio had never been one to give any warning before charging in, and this time was no exception. These words said, he switched both of Noctis’ wrists in one single hand – and once more, the royal heir had to curse the Creation for that ridiculous strength. Because even then the Shield wasn’t breaking a sweat to hold him… and worse, he now had a free hand to add to Noctis’ torment.

            “ _N-no…!_ Nonononohoho, I-I take it baaaack!!”

Too late for regrets… but with two of these big fingers slipping through the sleeve of his King’s Knight T-shirt and finding a defenseless armpit, _oh_ did the prince regret, oh-so dearly. The giggles he kept trying to so desperately muffle couldn’t be stopped now; they flowed, bright and child-like, into the clear morning sky, and upon hearing that sound, Ignis was immediately taken back. To younger, more innocent days, when his biggest worry was how to conciliate studies and play times with the sweet little prince. The memories almost made him reconsider the whole plan… but. Sometimes feelings had to be pushed aside for a greater good.

_At desperate times…_

And besides, ethics aside, it worked. Three hands tickling the heck out of him were quick to bring Noctis to submission. The adviser only needed to present his alternate option again, and between peals of laughter, the younger male accepted it with little hesitation this time. True to their words, his tormentors immediately stopped their assault. Though they stayed in position; a little reminder for Noctis that going back on his decision wouldn’t come without consequences.

Parting his lips to accept the piece of ‘green atrocity’, as he named it, asked a lot out of the prince, and it showed. His face contorting in a grimace of disgust that was only _slightly_ exaggerated. Finally he ended up munching on the broccoli, and after a looong time for dramatic effect, swallowed it.

            “So?” Prompto leaned forward, tilting his head to look into Noctis’ eyes. “How’s that? Edible?”

            “… M’not gonna vomit right now, if that’s what you’re asking.” Quite the lukewarm reply, but in his head, the prince had to admit, it wasn’t as bad as he had feared. No… the beta... becha… whatever sauce Ignis used helped soften the taste, and all in all, he could actually enjoy it a little.  
Though of course, he would absolutely _not_ say that aloud. Some here could take it as an encouragement.

            “A-alright, done…” Once again, he pulled at his hands. And once again, realized Gladiolus still held tight. He whined. “Hey, I ate your stuff! You can’t keep me there!”

            “This is _food_ , not ‘stuff’. And sorry to disappoint but you only ate part of it.” Ignis was a bit less annoyed than before, obviously pleased by Noctis’ effort there. But he wasn’t a man of half measures either, and so his fork went back to the plate. Chose another vegetable. And repeated the presentation process. “Now, carrots, if you please.”

 

            Carrots. _Carrots!_ Those were even worse than broccolis! Noctis’ expression twisted in complete repulsion, and he even feigned puking.

            “Eeeewww! Ooh no, no way, nope! I’m NOT eating that shit!”

Three sighs, in almost perfect sync, answered his outburst. “Well… ya know what that means, princess.” And before the crown heir could even think of defending himself, the horrible, malicious hands were all back on him, more motivated than ever.

Farewell to whatever excuses he could have found. It was laughing time all over again.

            “NO…! Naha… ah, _seriously?!_ Y-you have noho right to… to treheat me like that!!” he complained.

            “Oh, Noctis, Noctis…” Prompto shook his head, amused. His fingers had decided to explore new territories, and while one hand held the prince’s leg over his own, the other scribbled on the inside of the thigh, right under the shorts Noctis wore for sleep. An area he instantly made a mental note of, with the adorable squeals of protests it brought out. Really, that stubborn little princey of theirs was way too ticklish not to get teased. “We’re just worried about you, ya know? It’s not like we _wanted_ to make you suffer through this~”

Riiiight. _That smirk of yours doesn’t match these words_ at all _, Prom._

            “Could be less unpleasant to you if you’d just act like an adult for once, and not a spoiled brat!”

Well strangely that wasn’t making Noctis feel any better. Even less so as Gladio’s words came with a new assault: some teasing tweaks along the belly area. How rude! Not liking vegetables didn’t necessarily make him spoiled, right?? He had… _refined_ tastes, yeah, that was it!

            “You’re aha, a fuhuckin’ _ahasshole_!!” he complained.

To which the Shield only snickered. “Love you too, baby.”

That was almost their usual banter; love-hate relationship at its finest between these two. Usually they would go on and on until it ended in an all-out play fight, and Noctis would have lied if he said he didn’t enjoy these. But as of now, the ‘fight’ stayed one-sided and totally not at the prince’s advantage. What was he to do, between these two tickle monsters?! Only shriek and squeak, shake his head in denial and bounce fruitlessly on the camping chair, that’s what. And that would get him nowhere. Gaaah at this rate it was only a matter of time before that orange monstrosity ended up in his mouth…!

 

            A matter of seconds, actually. Suddenly Prompto’s hands shot to his hips, and Gladio’s to his neck. One kneading, the other wriggling his fingers around. And Noctis could scrunch up his shoulders and twist around all he wanted, neither had the decency to show mercy. So much for his pitiful resistance…

            “AAHAHAHAOKAY!! Okahay, I give, I giIIIVE…!!”

Just like before, it all stopped as soon as the words left him. That, at least, was something he supposed he should feel glad about. But what if they _didn’t_ torture him in the first place, huh?? Wouldn’t that be _better_?? From his point of view, it definitely would.

            “I… I hate you all… s-so much right nohow…” he whined.

That didn’t quite bring the compassionate reactions he would have hoped for.

            “I expected as much.” Ignis only said. “Now… if you please?”

And the horrible food was there again, just a couple inches away from his lips… Noctis cringed, instinctively pressing himself against the backrest of his seat as if he wished to disappear through it. But alas, the laws of physics didn’t work like that…

            “Seriously you… you can’t expect me to eat that! Just look at it, it’s… a freaking _goblin’s dick_!”

            “Disgusting comparisons won’t get you anywhere.” Or well, it could have, if Prompto had been the only one here… considering how he paled at these words and glanced, horrified, at the carrot still hanging from the adviser’s fork. But it definitely would take more than that to discourage the other two, at least. Ignis didn’t even falter. “Just tell yourself this isn’t the first nor the last – quoting you – _dick_ you’d be swallowing in your life, and open. your. mouth.”

Fuck. Ok. Food really was a touchy subject for the cook of the gang, huh… for him to pronounce such filthy words. Once again, Noctis could _feel_ angry vibes coming from Ignis, and he shuddered. Resistance seemed futile at this point... Inside his head, a quick prayer was offered to whichever gods would listen – _please don’t make the taste match the look, amen_. Then his lips parted, veeeery slowly, as if every fiber of his being wanted to fight it… He closed his eyes to spare himself the sight… and…

Hm? That… tasted sweet?

The surprise must have been pretty obvious on his face, because as he opened his eyes again, he could see his three boyfriends looking at him with a knowing smile.

            “I guess you do like the taste of ‘goblin’s dick’, heh?” Gladio smirked, pinching the boy’s side and making him squeak.

            “S-shut up!” came the embarrassed reply. Ugh, they would make him regret these words all his life wouldn’t they… But just like the first time, he couldn’t really find any points of contestation over the food itself. Turning to Ignis, he kept a grumpy expression on as he grumbled. “Hey, be honest now, that wasn’t carrot… was it?”

             “It was.” Ignis confirmed. “Glazed in sugar and butter. I take it you liked the taste?”

More grumbles. More blushing.

            “… I… guess…”

Oh, how his adviser’s face _beamed_ at these words… perhaps even more than the day they began dating. And that said a lot.

            “Oooh I should’ve recorded that!” Prompto clapped his hands together in glee. “For posterity, ya know? ‘The One Day the Chosen King ate his vegetables’… this is national holiday material!”

No, really, they weren’t gonna let him forget about all this… ever.

 

            Since he had overcome two ordeals in a row, Noctis would have liked to consider himself out of troubles. But… there was something else on that plate. He had spotted it right from the start… Something hiding beneath a layer of tomato sauce, something that looked like ugly, fat maggots, and was just as disgusting… He hoped, prayed that Ignis wouldn’t push him that far. That his efforts until then would be rewarded. However, his hopes died like a match in the storm when said adviser turned the plate again and brought these horrors so terrifyingly _close_.

            “One more thing before we can call this operation a success…” he began, “just some-”

            “ _No!_ ”

The reaction was immediate, without a single pause, and the tone let no place for discussion. Which made Ignis raise an eyebrow. “I hadn’t finished.”

            “Iggy…” Noctis sounded tired, and well, anyone would be after getting through a multiple hands tickling treatment. Tired… but there was also a good dose of defiance in there. That little spark of brattiness nothing would ever extinguish, and one of the many things the other three both adored and hated in that boy. “I recognized your damn broccoli. You can’t fool me with beans. You could bury them under anything you want, I’d _always_ recognize these.”

Ah. That cut out the need of sugar-coating it. Ignis sure wouldn’t complain about that. “Then you can simply go ahead and eat some.”

The sound he got at that, almost a childish sob, could honestly have broken the coldest hearts.

            “Oh come _oooon_ …! This is _beans_ we’re talking about…! You don’t ‘simply’ eat that… that abomination!” And then came what was probably the prince’s best puppy eyes ever, an award winner. Addressed to all three, but most specifically to the adviser – always the head of every operation, always the one that ultimately took the decisions. “Guys… please… I’m honestly begging there…”

Gladio’s hold on his wrists grew a bit slacker. Even Prompto gave a little cooing sound, turning to the others with questioning eyes. “What do you guys think? He’s been good so far…”

            “We could cut our princess some slack.” Even the Shield was agreeing! Then…!

            “No.” Aaand there crumbled the prince’s hopes. Crushed by a single word. “Grant him one victory, and he would be going straight back to his terrible eating habits… We can’t have that.”

It was obvious this declaration cost Ignis dear. He loved Noctis, always had, and always will. Pleading eyes, coming from him, did painful things to his heart. _But_. He could always make it up to the boy later. Make him his favorite meal, bring him to a nice fishing spot… there were hundred ways to please the Lucis heir, and his adviser could say with some pride that he had mastered all of them.  
Yes… Noctis would forgive him. In time.

            “So now…” The fork found one bean, made sure to cover it as best it could in the tomato sauce, and lifted it to the prince’s lips. “We have some unfinished business. If you would be so kind…?”

 

            If there was one vegetable in the whole universe Noctis would never, _ever_ make a single effort to even put in his mouth, it was definitely that thing. Even the threat of more tickles wouldn’t change that. His head turned away so fast he could have sworn a vertebra or two gave a little cracking sound inside. He could have just said ‘no’… but that would mean opening his mouth, and with Ignis being _that_ determined, he didn’t want to take the risk.

            “Oh, very well then.” Ignis shrugged. “I didn’t imagine you’d be so eager to have your worst spot tickled but…”

Noctis’ body stiffened. _Waitwaitwait…_ Worst spot?? Ooooh no. No, Ignis couldn’t possibly remember that, surely not... That spot that would make the younger one give up any tickle fight in a matter of seconds, screaming for mercy… It had been years, more than a decade even, he just couldn’t-

            “Prompto? Get his foot.”

… shit. He remembered.

            “Nononono _Prom nO PLEASE…!_ ”

Keeping his mouth shut wasn’t his priority anymore. For a second there, things seemed to go in slow motion. Him yanking his wrists free before Gladio could react… Prompto holding his leg up with one hand, the other dangerously nearing his socked foot… Ignis getting the plate closer, and the prince’s free leg kicking hard at the same time out of sheer survival instinct…

            Somehow, among all that chaos, an unexpected sound managed to make itself heard. The sound of a very carefully prepared plate meeting solid ground for the first and last time. The sound of food splashing over rock, and pieces of Bakelite scattering all over the place…

A heavy, strained silence spread among the four guys. All eyes converging on the mess.

            “… We… wehell…” Prompto couldn’t stifle a laugh. “That concludes the experiment I guess?”

            “Damn, Noct, I’d like to see you put that much effort in your training!” Gladio, too, seemed to take it on the light side. His big hands ruffled Noctis’ dark locks in a loving gesture.

Only the fourth member wasn’t reacting that well. Staring at the wasted food, his shoulders shaking with a fury that seemed to burn more and more intensely with each passing second…

            “E-erm, Iggy…?” Noctis was frozen in fear. Ignis’ anger… the one thing he never wanted to risk… now a little inch away from blowing straight at his face. Oooh that didn’t look good. That didn’t look good at all. “I-I didn’t mean to… you know? T-that was an accident I swe _aAAAH!!_ ”

Too late for excuses, or for anything else that could have saved his sorry butt. The camping chair toppled over, with the prince on it, as the usually collected cook all but leaped on him to launch an all-out, ruthless tickle assault. There was no time allowed for the giggle stage; only screams and squeals and incoherent begging right from the start. Ignis never did beat around the bush. He knew how to strike, where to strike, and it only took one second for Noctis to regret the other two oh-so dearly. Who need the number when they had skill on their side? These two hands there sure felt like at least twice of them! A feeling that escalated really quick, too, when they left his upper body to wander down these poor feet the prince had so desperately tried to protect.

The screech that brought out probably got heard all the way to Insomnia.

This time, the pack of Anaks left without further ado.

 

            Despite enjoying the little show, the other two finally felt enough pity for their tormented lover to interrupt. And after a while to calm down the still fuming adviser, Ignis himself felt the need to present formal apologies. Which Noctis accepted without discussing it, all too happy to see the situation defused. No more punishment? That was all he could wish for!  
The matter of the beans wasn’t brought back again. The pilled food and broken plate were gathered by a helpful Prompto, thrown and forgotten into the trash. Ignis accepted to cook a normal breakfast for their liege who, between the long night of sleep and the uncalled-for physical exercise, was starving by now. And to make the wait bearable, Gladio took it upon himself to drag the prince back to the tent and offer him a nice, warm hug.

Gladio always gave the best hugs.

With all three taking such good care of him, no way Noctis could stay mad at them for too long. He tried, of course – that stubborn part of him kept a pout on his face for a long, long time. At least until he was halfway through a delicious stack of freshly made pancakes, with Prompto petting his hair in the best way, and Gladio holding him from behind in protective arms. Then, finally, he dared raise his head, and give a highly unconvincing glare.

            “… I loathe you all. With every fiber of my being.”

            “Aww, no you don’t, grumpy butt~” The blond photographer of the gang leaned over, and with a grin, licked a pancake crumb off Noctis’ lips. “You looooove us~”

            “And since you don’t say it nearly enough for our liking…” the Shield’s stubble ran ticklishly against Noctis’ cheek, his hands sloooowly sliding beneath the smaller male’s shirt for some teasing pokes, “now we know how to get the words out of ya~”

It didn’t take more for the raven-haired boy to squeak, curling slightly on himself. “N-no don’t…!! You… you dickheads! I can’t believe I…” a pause, “I…” a light blush, creeping up his face. His eyes went back to the pancakes, then closed tight in embarrassment when the words finally left his mouth: “I can’t believe I’m in love with _you idiots!!_ ”

In front of him, Ignis simply smiled. “Oh, it is quite alright.” And reaching out, he took the prince’s hand to press a kiss over it. “We do have a fond weakness for your own stupidity, too.”

Yeah… that was it. That was what defined them the best: a bunch of morons with a ridiculous adoration for each other. An adoration that only grew stronger with each day they spent on the road together, and no amount of insults, jibes, or even tickle torture, could ever change that.

Oddly though… during the following days, an obvious decrease of wasted vegetables could be observed. Less carrots subtly switched from one plate to the other. Less lettuce sneaked into the chocobos’ meal. Oh, it wasn’t perfect yet, far from it. However, Noctis was making some efforts and it showed.

As he cleaned the dishes that night, Ignis couldn’t help but smile to himself.  
 _At desperate time, desperate measures.  
_ Yes… the measures _had_ been desperate, but the results were undeniable. And besides… Noctis had quite the cute laugh. Even cuter than in his memories. A shame, really, that he wasn't letting it out more often.

Maybe they should try something else next time… If the adviser recalled correctly, their prince had some difficulties eating a variety of fruits too…?  
The smile he bore turned to a devilish smirk.  
Next time they camped… they’d better choose an even more isolated area. Just in case.


End file.
